I don't think I believe in love. I have never experienced an intimate moment. Never been kissed. Never held hands, in a romantic way. Never felt as though I couldn't breathe when a man I'm interested in looks at me. Yes, I have sadly never experienced any of this. How could I possibly believe in love?
I'm making love my first topic to write about because I am terribly confused right now.
You see....there is this boy........
I have known him for many years. He was always shorter than me and had longer hair he refused to cut. He had always just been my little buddy. THEN, this buddy of mine got a hair cut and suddenly I could see deep blue eyes. This boy got cute just like that. And.....I fell for him, just like that.
Regarding "love" nothing ever works out for me. Of course this boy has a girl friend. Of course this boy has fallen completely and totally in love with her. Of course he will always just see me as the friend.
I know this is cliche, but the lyrics to Taylor Swift's song You Belong With Me, fits my situation perfectly.
I can totally see us together at some point. Whether if it is for a long period time, or for just a couple of months. We compliment eachother. He is the brain and I am the heart. He is the sanity to my insanity.
Unfortunately, we will never be together. He is in love. I can't love. As much as I feel for him, I don't at the same time.
My heart is completely guarded. I hope someday I will let someone in. I, unfortunately, do not think "he" is the one I will open up to.
We are too different. We have been friends for too long. We rarely see eachother.
This too shall pass, I suppose.
I can't help but feel for him and be hopeful. But, as I learned through my twenty years of life, hope does not get you a whole lot.
-Audrey
